his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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