Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
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So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
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I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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