Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
