he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
