Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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