when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
