Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
How does it feel to date your dad?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
