Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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