I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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