I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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