Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  children are so perceptive these days... and horny

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): 5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF (973): children are so perceptive these days... and horny http://tfl.nu/81nd
  Replies (32) Good night (2558) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin" http://tfl.nu/dw59
  Replies (12) Good night (783) Bad night (5436)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp. http://tfl.nu/a6do
  Replies (41) Good night (21475) Bad night (1283)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed. http://tfl.nu/eoiy
  Replies (24) Good night (1504) Bad night (5541)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came

  (323): View more from California

  i love that song!

  (818): View more from California

  NOT THE POINT

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came (323): i love that song! (818): NOT THE POINT http://tfl.nu/7i6t
  Replies (19) Good night (7640) Bad night (1570)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate. http://tfl.nu/9gey
  Replies (1) Good night (1770) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me.. http://tfl.nu/j14b
  Replies (5) Good night (1185) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements. http://tfl.nu/p1je
  Replies (8) Good night (1579) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want http://tfl.nu/5io1
  Replies (10) Good night (520) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors http://tfl.nu/85u5
  Replies (3) Good night (594) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower" http://tfl.nu/qx3d
  Replies (7) Good night (1064) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement. http://tfl.nu/k539
  Replies (0) Good night (347) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron. http://tfl.nu/kxzn
  Replies (0) Good night (411) Bad night (191)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten. http://tfl.nu/8dnp
  Replies (0) Good night (310) Bad night (125)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri http://tfl.nu/jxtp
  Replies (1) Good night (204) Bad night (266)

Randomize