yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Everything about him screamed your future.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.