Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Dual....:-)

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  (240): Dual....:-) http://tfl.nu/1kk8
  Replies (11) Good night (1981) Bad night (1421)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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  (314): So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present. http://tfl.nu/xf6g
  Replies (792) Good night (7905) Bad night (111396)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.

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  (402): Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little. http://tfl.nu/w7gx
  Replies (31) Good night (999) Bad night (3051)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!

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  (210): this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings! http://tfl.nu/x9r9
  Replies (54) Good night (4676) Bad night (607)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that

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  (917): Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that http://tfl.nu/jdka
  Replies (6) Good night (5611) Bad night (661)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina

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  (717): ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina http://tfl.nu/5npd
  Replies (30) Good night (591) Bad night (8939)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.

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  (617): we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life. http://tfl.nu/dy8h
  Replies (17) Good night (5286) Bad night (751)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight

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  (304): I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight http://tfl.nu/2lmk
  Replies (23) Good night (4712) Bad night (1258)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.

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  (319): Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really. http://tfl.nu/ok73
  Replies (11) Good night (3592) Bad night (1134)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?

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  (+61): And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up? http://tfl.nu/g9ke
  Replies (19) Good night (760) Bad night (1829)
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  (530): View more from California

  We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.

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  (530): We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/it3w
  Replies (8) Good night (1900) Bad night (547)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.

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  (217): sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar. http://tfl.nu/imgt
  Replies (4) Good night (1451) Bad night (643)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.

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  (720): Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description. http://tfl.nu/i5hv
  Replies (3) Good night (2314) Bad night (589)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered

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  (336): I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered http://tfl.nu/tx8s
  Replies (4) Good night (921) Bad night (325)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?

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  (770): Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been? http://tfl.nu/1qg4
  Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (164)

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