I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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