I wanna bring you to show and tell
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize