HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
