3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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