The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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