PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
