I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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