Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
