So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
