There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
