At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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