and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
