90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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