So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize