4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
His nipple licking is glorious
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