he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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