I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
What drink are we having for lunch?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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