Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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