i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm too high and old for this...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
