Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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