what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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