Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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