I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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