Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
