What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
