The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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