Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
