My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
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He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
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It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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