I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
