I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I enjoy the company of your penis
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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