You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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