I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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