I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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