there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
