He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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