I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
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Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I need to sanitize my soul.
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You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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