I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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