I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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