Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Floor bacon is actually really good
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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