I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
