Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
