I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I hate all girls vehemently.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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