Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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